Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, is an experience most people don’t want to endure. When people consider marriage counseling, it’s because their relationship is experiencing some detrimental problems that they can’t address themselves.  Even the thought of needing an expert’s opinion can be terrifying to some.  

Why is that? There is a misconception that marriage counseling is for the weak – for those people who are so weak in the relationship that they can’t handle things on their own. However, marriage counseling should be viewed, not as weakness, but a sign of strength. 

Seeking out professional help is a sign that you’re tired of how things are going in your relationship and you want things to change for the better. 

Of course, the lack of knowing what happens in marriage counseling is what scares people away from seeking help. They continue with the destructive behavior. If your relationship is experiencing problems beyond your capability to handle, don’t let the fear ruin your chances of making the marriage work. 

If you know what to expect before you walk into a marriage counselor’s office, you’ll feel less anxious about going. After all, knowledge is power!

3 Key Reasons People Go To Marriage Counseling

Now, you may be wondering what some of the biggest reasons people choose a marriage counselor are. While there are a plethora of reasons for two people in a marriage or relationship to seek out the help of a professional counselor, the three biggest reasons are:

Communication Is Negative or Non-Existent

Communication is key to a successful relationship and, when you don’t have that, it’s difficult to move things in the right direction. If there is negative communication between a couple, it can lead to depression and insecurity by one or both. Tone is everything – and what you say isn’t always as important as in the manner you say it. Negative communication can lead to where no meaningful conversation is taking place. 

There Was An Affair

It’s close to impossible to recover from an affair – close to, but it can happen. It means putting in the work and effort, making the commitment that you are willing to forgive them for their indiscretion and look to better days ahead. The only way this will happen though is if both people are involved in the recovery process. Honesty is the best policy here if the marriage is to survive. 

When Fighting Becomes The Norm

If you and your significant other are constantly fighting and it’s become the normal way of life, that’s not healthy. Yes, some fighting is good, as it lets you get out your emotions. However, too much of it – on an everyday basis – is not good and is detrimental to everybody in the relationship and home (if you have kids, consider how they may be feeling).

When everything you have tried has failed, it’s time to seek the assistance of a professional. Again, knowledge is power. 

3 Things To Expect During Your First Visit With A Marriage Counselor 

You’ll Be Asked Some Basic Questions

In most cases, your marriage counselor is going to ask you both why you sought out their assistance. What happened in your marriage that you brought you to him or her? This is a pretty standard question, as it sets the groundwork for repairing your marriage. As simple as it sounds though, the answer can be fairly complex. Therefore, you and your other half need to prepare your answers. 

Why? You may be together for years before you seek out help, and the answer isn’t just one thing. It could be a culmination of several things and, by focusing on the small things, you don’t get to the root of the problem. Be honest with yourself, each other and your counselor if you truly want to make the marriage work. 

The marriage therapist is going to ask a slew of questions about your history – how you met, fell in love, what attracted you to them, etc. 

When you have questions about the therapy process, go ahead and ask your counselor the questions. The more you know, the less anxiety you’ll feel. Again, knowledge is power!

Realize That Discomfort Is Going To Happen

The hardest thing to contend with in life is problems – whether you’re dealing with them on your own or in a professional setting. When you combine those problems with someone else, it’s even more difficult.  

The first and, most important thing to understand, is that one or two counseling sessions are not going to improve your relationship with your spouse. It just won’t happen. It took years to break your relationship down, and it’s going to take time for it to be rebuilt and see positive progress. 

While you’re talking, you may learn things about your spouse you had no inkling of, or something comes out of your mouth before you even thought about it.  Couples therapy has a way of bringing out the good and bad in people, and it’s not going to be easy to hear. 

In fact, you may find some sessions where you just sit in silence or where you fight – your counselor can be the mediator and assist you both in coping with the emotions. 

The process by which this happens isn’t fun, and one reason people are anxious about seeking out marriage counseling; even when it’s obvious a couple needs help.

How Long The Process Will Go On

There are several ways in which the marriage counseling can go. If things are addressed early into the sessions, and things appear to be going good, you may need just a handful of sessions. While you could feel better after one session, the chance of that is fairly remote. 

Successful marriage counseling is realizing that it takes time to work things out. If a marriage counselor is really good at their job, they’ll give you the tools you need to address the problems on your own.  Don’t rush the process because you feel you’re on borrowed time. If you truly want to make a marriage work, the best thing you can do is slow down and realize what happened in the marriage to bring you to this point. 

What To Keep In Mind

While most people are under the assumption that a marriage counselor’s job is to keep two people together, that’s not actually the case. A counselor’s job is to highlight the problems within the marriage, bring it to the forefront and give you the tools to address them. They also highlight issues within yourself, which can make you realize that perhaps the marriage isn’t healthy in the grand scheme of things.

The reality is that nobody knows – not even a counselor – what will happen when you decide enough is enough. Marriage counseling is only there when you’ve decided you can’t go on in a relationship like you are and don’t know what the best course of action is.   

Each counselor has their own approach to your particular predicament – there is no one-size-fits-all approach to counseling.  And, it’s certainly not for everybody. However, if you’re tired of living like you are, and you still love your spouse, marriage counseling may be the right decision for your family. 

For decades, in-person counseling was the only psychotherapy approach available. You would have to find a therapist, schedule your sessions and travel to your therapist’s office for every appointment. Thanks to the modern technology, more and more people choose online therapy over the traditional, in-person therapy nowadays. Some of the obvious benefits of online counseling for many people include its convenience, the range of choices, and the cost.  

Why People Choose Online Therapy These Days?

Some studies show that the frequency of the dropouts is higher in traditional, office-based therapy than in online or phone therapy, especially in the first few weeks of the treatment. In one study, 225 adults diagnosed with clinical depression attended 18 weeks long cognitive-behavioral therapy, some of them with the therapist over the phone and others with an in-person counselor. 

The study demonstrated that phone therapy helped reduce dropout from the treatment. Namely, four people out of five who were assigned therapy over the phone were able to complete full 18 weeks of treatment, while only two out of three of those who went through in-person therapy could complete their treatment. 

Online Therapy Advantages and In-Person Therapy Drawbacks

Online counseling is a time-saving and accessible form of therapy, within reach from your computer or phone at any given time.   

Convenience

With our busy lives and hectic schedules, the option of online therapy is simply convenient. Long working hours, schools schedules, and the challenges of the child-care make it hard for people in need to schedule office-based counseling appointments and stay committed to their treatment. 

Online counseling appears as a suitable therapy option for our demanding everyday lives. There is no need to commute. You don’t have to leave your work early in order to get on time to your counselor’s office. Moreover, online counseling can be as easy as sending a text – so you don’t even have to schedule your appointment. 

Also, online therapy offers a range of choices when it comes to expressing your thoughts and feelings. You can talk or write, send pictures or communicate with your counselor in real time, whatever works for you. 

The Cost

The cost of the office-based, in-person therapy usually goes very high, an average $80-150 per 45-60 minutes session, plus commuting costs. Additionally, in many cases, the health insurance plans do not cover this type of therapy thus making psychotherapy simply unaffordable for a lot of people. 

The price range of online therapy varies. However, the cost of online therapy is generally much lower when compared to in-person therapy. Moreover, many online counseling services such as different crisis phone services, for example, can be obtained for free. With the rising number of people seeking mental health counseling today, this is an obvious advantage of online therapy.

Easy Access and Constant Support    

Frequent communication and continual support from the therapist are some of the major pros of online counseling. Online therapy allows you to text or chat with your therapist many times a day, whenever you need support. This is a huge advantage for people who need frequent care while experiencing the symptoms of severe anxiety or depression, for example. 

Furthermore, your search for the matching therapist online should be short and convenient. Online counseling services use professionals and algorithms to pair you with the counselor who matches your requirements. 

Also, with online counseling, you can usually start your therapy right away, especially if it doesn’t require health insurance. 

Geographical Distance

Online therapy may be very beneficial for people who live in distant or rural areas. For these people, obtaining mental health assistance may be very challenging as a mental health provider may not be available within a close geographical distance. Thus, the online therapy comes up as the perfect solution. 

Confidentiality and Anonymity

While the therapeutic relationship is a highly confidential relationship, some people simply don’t feel comfortable opening up in-person, even in front of a professional mental health provider. For these people, online counseling may be very helpful, since it allows for more anonymity.

The Length

In-person therapy normally requires you to come for scheduled sessions once a week over the course of several weeks, months, or even years. If you are not willing to commit to counseling for that long, you might want to consider available online therapy options. Even if your online therapy lasts for months, it is still much faster, easier, and more convenient than commuting to your therapist’s office.

Traditional Therapy Advantages and Online Therapy Drawbacks

In-Person Interaction

The lack of in-person interaction in online therapy may be an important disadvantage for people who find face-to-face contact with the therapist very important. Thus some individuals benefit more from office-based interaction with the therapist. 

Also, if you tend to rely on a non-verbal communication in your interpersonal relations, you might prefer in-person therapy where your therapist will use their body language and voice tone to communicate with you. 

Nevertheless, some experts believe that online therapy doesn’t cover the most important therapeutic aspect of counseling – the therapeutic relationship. Still, online therapists argue that they are able to establish a trusting, healing relationship with their clients despite the lack of in-person contact.

Finally, some forms of therapy, such as EMDR, drama therapy, or play therapy are very difficult or impossible to provide online.

Severe Mental Health Conditions

Severe mental health conditions require in-person care from mental health professionals and facilities. In this case, online therapy may be a good complementary therapy source but is generally not enough on its own.  

Many studies and real-life experiences show that both online and in-person therapy can foster a deep connection between a client and his/her therapist. It seems to be a matter of preference, after all. Some people prefer in-person interaction while others find online communication with the therapist liberating – online-therapy users sometimes say that online therapy makes it easier to open up and form a stronger connection with their counselor. 

To end with, many people find combining online and in-person therapy approach the best way to combat their mental health issues.